Dear Wild Orchid.
I'm very sorry for my delayed response.
Ever since I've got your e-mail, I found your adoption file and reviewed it.It was only a few paragraphs long, but for an adoptee like myself, who had never possessed any information regarding my origins beyond the empty paperwork my adoptive parents had been given by Holt, it was as if someone had handed a tremendous piece of my life back.
According to your adoption record, your birth mother was an unmarried single when she relinquished you through Holt.
Your birth mother was a fruit costermonger in Ulsan city when she met your birth father who was a sales man. She and your birth father lived together for several months until you were born. However your birth father drunk often and was (sic) a violent temper so they argued each other a lot.
One day, just a few days after you were born, they argued as well and he left home. Your birth mother had been waiting for him but hadn't come back and more over she couldn't find any one who could help her; she was an unmarried single and it's a real taboo for the Korean society at that times.
She worried a lot and finally moved to Busan and worked as a housemaid. She stayed there with you but she thought your adoption might be the best way for your better future, so she relinqushied you through Holt. I found that you were not an abandonee but was asked by your birth mother to be adopted.
It was written that your birth date was Oct. 21. 1977. 6:30am. Your birth mother's name was Suh, 19 years old, and your birth father's name was Park, 27 years old, so your name was from your birth fathers.
Your birth mother hasn't contacted Holt after she relinquished you through Holt. Therefore, we don't have her current information; actually there's no identifying information about her on your adoption record. However you can send us your letter and some photos then I will keep them in your adoption file until your birth family visits Holt to ask about you.
Please understand my delayed response and if anything you want to know more about your adoption, please contact me at any time.
I will look forward to your letter and photos.
warm regards,
Holt Korea social worker
From beyond the void, my birth parents began to take shape from the mysterious non-entities I had known all my life. They were no longer ghosts from an inaccessible dimension. They become instantly Real. Human. Flawed. Visceral.
Reading about my birth mother's life, the years of childish anger and resentment melted away to the core of my heart where compassion for my biological parents was found. And finally, from my stunned reverie and silence, came a flood of tears.
They were tears of gratitude: Gratitude for a partial filling of the emptiness I had grown to live with in my heart; an emptiness that had become a part of me. At that moment, I was instantly flooded with a sense of fullness and recognition of being human and most importantly, of having been loved from the very beginning.
