I've spent much of the past year in reflection and healing and feel that I have gained a greater sense of serenity and gratitude for all that is good in my life. Having finally had a chance to grieve and to probe my Forbidden Adoption Thoughts, perhaps my heart and mind are now open and receptive to a more balanced view of adoption. A balanced view is one that is also more likely to be heard and acknowledged.
In this healing journey, I have inadvertenly stumbled upon the Dakota community and its healing traditions and ceremonies. I feel especially fortunate to have come in contact with a Dakota elder and medicine bundle keeper who has spent much of his time reaching out to Native American adoptees who were adopted into non-Native American families by offering what is called a Wiping of Tears ceremony to welcome these children, now grown, back into the community. He has also played an integral part in the passing of the Indian Child Welfare Act, passed in 1978, the purpose of which is to preserve the integrity of the Native American community. It is something I understand intimately - A fight for the right to retain one's sense of identity, which is oftentimes the only thing that keeps an individual sane in a chaotic world. Without a sense of idenity, an individual is prone to fill his emptiness and rootlessness with self-destructive tendencies. The United Nations and other NGO's appear to recognize that Identity is a major human rights issue:
Article 8
1. States Parties undertake to respect the right of the child to preserve his or her identity, including nationality, name and family relations as recognized by law without unlawful interference.
2. Where a child is illegally deprived of some or all of the elements of his or her identity, States Parties shall provide appropriate assistance and protection, with a view to re-establishing speedily his or her identity.
Why does it seem to take Adoption Law so long to recognize this right?
I shared my experience of adoption with the elder and his daughter and feel honored to have been invited to attend one of these Wiping of Tears ceremonies, although I am not Native American. I look forward to the event and can not help but wonder why the Korean community does not have a similar event (to my knowledge, at least) for its children who were adopted away. I feel that we are shunned, at worst, and patronized, at best. I am grateful that this particular Dakota elder and his daughter have regarded me with an open heart and recognize the common struggle that all adoptees from every nation share. This sense of inclusion, alone, has brought much healing to my life. I wish for other adoptees to experience the same feeling of inclusion that I have experienced, as part of any community. In fact, I extend this wish to all people who have experienced a loss of identity and culture.
The power of the Dakota ceremonies I have attended, including the sweatlodge and Sun Dance ceremonies, is undeniable. I have witnessed and experienced the palpable healing strength of ritual, of people reconnecting to their roots and their community through prayer and cultural traditions. Perhaps part of the solution to solving this so-called identity crisis that many transcultural/transracial adoptees share lies in reconnecting to one's roots, while also making peace with the past.
